Agh! The internet burns!: 07/17/2005 - 07/23/2005

Agh! The internet burns!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

SPOILERS AHOY!!!!!!!

So there's this webcomic I like (mostly for it's tastelessness) called Yirmumah. Apparently the author revealed some plot point of the new Harry Potter on a message board. It should go without saying at this point that message boards tend to attract the very young and the very geeky and often those who are both. Therefore there are a goodly number of Harry Potter fans who visit them. So our author got roundly flamed and is taking no little pride in it, because really it's pretty funny.

But this got me thinking about spoilers, which contrary to what I thought, do not decrease the wind resistance of the internet. Spoilers are when you reveal what happens at the end of a movie (or in this case book that might as well be a blockbuster movie). So this is what I posted to the blog attached to Yirmumah. I thought it would be good to get all the spoilers I'm likely to spill out of the way ahead of time, so nobody gets angry when I fuck up their lives by telling them that at the end of War of the Worlds some shit blows up.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!

The boy(girl) will get the girl(boy).

The technically superior aliens will be beaten through good old fashioned know how.

The alienated friends will find a reason to fight back to back.

The unpopular girl will get popular and find out it doesn't matter.

The bad guy isn't quite dead yet.

That totally slutty girl is going to die.

So's that hunky quarterback she went skinny dipping with.

Actually, everyone who went skinny dipping is going to die.

That guy's going to make a big speech about how much he loves that girl and it's going to work even though he just spent two hours being a total dick to her.

Will Smith is going to make a joke about dancing badly.

Yes, he saved her life. They're going to bone.

If the funnier partner isn't dead in 15 minutes, he's definitely going to betray the cooler one.

Turns out the bad guys were part of the u.s. government all along. Huh.

That retarded person is going to have a moment of incredible insight.

And finally:
You will probably regret the 10 dollars and 2 hours you just lost.

¶ 11:56 AM 0 comments

Monday, July 18, 2005

Sorry Jason Mulgrew..

This is my new favorite blog:

Old Grandma Hardcore

(It's not porn! I swear!)

¶ 11:52 AM 0 comments

Life, you never know when it's going to poke you. hard.

: Name:Morgan; Location:Seattle, Washington, United States

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