8.05.2006
Reason #4,768 why I love this city
We just wound our way out of the annual party at Steve Bard's house. It's really, really difficult to put this experience into words, and if you know me and my nonstop mouth at all, then you know that statement is a heavy one. This man is a legend of sorts among Seattleites, and now I see why. It's kind of like those reality tv shows where a clean freak invades a clutter freak's house and give it some kind of exorcism involving a sacrifice to Mr. Clean a la Balal. Except this guy's place isn't dirty, and you'd cry if anyone ever got in there and changed a thing. There are probably a dozen rooms in there, but the only indicator that you've gone from point A to point B is the vaguely changing themes. One room nods a head to the Victorian era, one is exclusively designated for evil, and you've got the harder to get to but oh so worth it genie loft and underground "futurisitc" basement room with a real, honest to god sensory deprivation tank, which is of course full of stuff so the point is a little lost, unless you count the complete and utter sensory overload as an eventual deprivation of sense. or sanity.
There is a great 360 of one of the main rooms downstairs here. It takes a long time to load and looks like it's in blurry black and white for a few minutes but trust me, it's worth it.
Among my favorite pieces in his enormous collection were: at least 4 pickled punks, a real guillotine, with a little dried blood on the blade, an outstanding collection of yee oldee medicinary tools, including a couple of those giant scary syringes, I love those!! The best thing about Steve Bard's house, and there a million, is that he collects everything, and I mean every. thing.
So it's not like he's above the Spencer's Gift novelty sitting atop a gold lame framed Bosch reproduction. And Steve himself is not the type of man you'd expect to be hosting this carnival of oddities, he's not crazy at all, unless you count the facct that he works at Boeing. I'm not sure what working at Boeing entails or what has happened historically to create the reputation that it has as a place of employment, but every time I hear anyone speak of working there it's with wide, wide eyes and hushed whispers, like a crew of skeckies will come breaking through the walls upon hearing anything but praise for the place that obviously houses some sort of evil.
Anyway, that's my Saturday. Now it's onto the porch for some Fawlty lemonade and green chile cheese burgers.
:: Shericat 5:50 PM [+] :: speak
1 comments
1 Comments:
Wow, and I though Paul had a lot of crap ... Just guessing - this dude's not married, is he? Cause I think we know how that conversation would go: "honey, your guillotine just doesn't *go* with my chaise lounge, so ..."
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